Misunderstood.. Maybe

I know it has been awhile since my last post but after I posted those I really had nothing to get off of my chest.  Well I now have something that I need to get out.  Do you ever wonder why people who say they do not judge people, that they seem to be the people who judge the most?  I am learning through  my therapy that I need to let things go and not let other people intimidate me and speak how I feel without feeling bad about it.  I am really struggling with it because I have some family members who think that I am mean, hateful and I do things out of spite.  Now I am a lot of things like flighty, goofy, talkative, sensitive, honest.etc.  But I am not mean and I am definitely not mean to family members.  No matter if it is a cousin or Uncle , Aunt or a Grandparent I always make sure I treat them with respect even when I do not agree with that they are saying.  Yesterday I had an unexpected visitor and I was caught off guard because I had finally gotten to the point with this family that I do not need them in my life because all they cause are issues within the family. So when I finally accept that, this Aunt shows up at my door step.  Now I am the type of person that when I am having a conversation with someone I usually take whatever they are saying and then after the fact I realize that I should have stood up for myself. I always kick myself for not speaking my mind and allowing that person to have the power to make me feel like I have done something wrong.  How do I change that?  Most of my life I have been in survival mode and I am not sure how to get out of that.  I am so frustrated because this person keeps saying that my mother and I are spiteful, hateful and mean. She actually called me that in my own house, Now why did I not throw her out on her a**, ?  Because I am not mean!  That's why.  If I were all of those things they this Aunt and Uncle say that I am  I would have kicked her out and told her what I thought.  At least I think that is what I would have done if I were mean. Right?  These 2 people say that I am the reason that they have not come to any family functions for the last 5 years. Now as an adult myself would it have not made since to bring the issue that one of their kids thought they had with me.  Um no instead they alienate the entire family and blame me.  I do not get it. Also this person said that at my sisters wedding, which by the way I was 9 months pregnant and it was the hottest day of the year.  I was told that they walked by me at least 5 times and I said nothing to them. WHY NOT Stand in front of me and say HELLO!  But she said that I went up to my dying Grandmother and talked with her. Well DUH of course I went over and sat down and talked, with my Grandmother who passed away months later.  Am I a bad person for that?  This family has me questioning my character and I should not be because I have done nothing wrong.  Now remember she is in my home talking about my mother and me like I was not even here.  She also said that my Grandmother who has MS takes advantage of her situation, even though she has not walked in about 20 years.  She does not feel like my Grandmother  does not like her because when she brings up meals my grandmother does not appreciate it.  And that she takes advantage of people to help her to the bathroom.  At this point I should have come unglued but I am still wondering why she is in my house talking about my family.  Anyway there is a whole lot more to this story but to tell you the truth it is not even worth me waisting my time on because I know who I am and I know that I am an honest, loving, good person and I really should not let is bother me.  Except for the fact that I keep getting calls, texts and emails. I guess I am going to have to put on my mean big girl panties and stand up for myself.  Maybe:)