Lucy and Ethel

I have this image in my head of the kind of friendships I want to have.  I want people in my life that will never judge me, don't lie , always laugh when I do something silly or crazy and can be there when I need them for anything.  I had a hard time making friends growing up because we moved every year and I would have to go to a new school and try to "fit" in.  It was always hard because most of the kids had been together since the first day of kindergarten.  I did not like going into a  new class and not knowing a single person, I really found this difficult in the 3rd grade.  I went to a local school and although I do not remember most of the kids I do remember not wanting to be there.  We stayed in the same school for my 4th grade year and it only got worse from there, I do remember talking to other kids but I never made that connection with anyone in my class.  I did however have a friend that I spent time with after school, but again we moved to Liberty and I had to start all over again.  I started the 5th grade and I remember having that same feeling that I was the outcast and everyone knew everyone else.  So I struggled with school and with making new friends, unfortunately I was held back in the 5th grade so it was like starting over again.  Now my second year of the 5th grade was a little better but not by much, I do remember having a few friends but I always had the feeling like I did not fit in.  I remember when these two boys "who will remain nameless" who came to our class after school had started and I jumped all over that because I was no longer the new kid.  I befriended one of the kids and we were friends until we graduated High School, although I do still see him we have our own lives and we do not stay in touch like we used to.  Things were kind of a blur from the 6th grade until 10th grade, when I tried out for the Drill Team, that is when things changed for me.  I met my great friend Laura we became good friends and spent a lot of time together, especially since we practiced quite a bit with the Marching band but we also hung out.  She even went on a summer vacation with us to Florida and I was so excited because I had never been before and we had the best time.  That was one of my favorite vacations that I took and I will always remember it.  But when she graduated we kind of lost touch and life got in the way and I moved around a lot after I graduated.  Years went by when I would see her once in a great while and we would talk and tell each other that we would call, but like I said life gets in the way sometimes.  Since then I did not have another friend that understood who I was and never judged me.  I have friends that would come and go and I have always tried to find that connection but it would always fizzle.  I am not saying that the friends that I do have are not worthy of my friendship, I love them dearly but I always need more out of someone not just a person in my life.  I wanted someone who I can go shopping with and laugh with, or cry in front of and they won't make me feel any less of a person.  I was searching for someone to tell things that I have never said to anyone and vise versa.  I guess I just have always had this dream of having friends that would come over and we would play cards or go to the movies with and eat and laugh together.  Not just once in a while but often and we enjoy being together and our husbands would become really good friends and we would grow old doing things together.  I know this must sound strange but I want friends like Lucy and Ethel , I know they are not "real" friends but that is what I want.   I have thank Facebook because it has brought me back to some of those people that were lost to me for a long time.  I actually reconnected with Laura and I have enjoyed having her back in my life, she always knows the right thing to say.  It is like we were never apart and we just started where we left off, except for the fact that we are older and are now raising kids.I love being able to call her if I need someone to talk to,  Sometimes when we are just talking I feel like a teenager again and it makes me happy.  I am happy to have my other girls in my life , Sherry who I have really come to care for so very much.  I like the fact that I have finally surrounded myself with people who really truly care about how I am feeling and are concerned when they do not hear from me in a while.  I just hope that I am giving them the same kind of friendship that they are showing me.  So when I say I love Lucy you will know what I am really talking about.  Thanks to all of my friends. I am so thankful  for all of you:)